I swear I didn't plan it this way, but the giant "snowpocalypse" that was supposed to hit Portland this week caused the local NBC affiliate to cancel Oprah on Wednesday and rerun it later that night. Which I didn't know until I sat down to watch on my DVR, and instead got to watch a lot of "snowverreaction" to what ended up being two (at the most) inches that melted by mid-morning Thursday.
Perhaps I just willed it to happen, since I really, truly did not want to watch part two of the Iyanla Vanzant train wreck. So, lucky me. Instead, I got the David Arquette train wreck.
Which, actually, wasn't all that bad. Arquette can be a little bit nutty, but it sounds like he might finally be getting his shit together. He talked a lot about healing and becoming the person he thinks he should be, and it didn't sound nearly as corny as you might think. It just sounded like a guy who's gone through rehab, who's owning up to his mistakes, and who is now trying to get his life together.
Oprah rightly called him on the insanity of him going to a bar on New Year's Eve, two days after he got sober, and then going to Vegas mere weeks after he got out of rehab. But I guess if he was able to stay sober in those situations, that quickly after he got clean, he might really be on the right path here.
I hope his wife knew he was doing this show, since he sure talked a lot about their relationship. Not as much as he talked about it back when he did Howard Stern, thankfully.
It's weird that Arquette got the full hour, when Celine only got the first 20 minutes and then some singing at the end of her episode. Does Oprah not know that Celine is the best singer in the world?
I bet Celine is sad. And if I knew her, or I just ran into her on the street the day after she got dissed by Oprah like that, I'd say, "Hey Celine, why the long face?"
Diana Ross was on today's (Friday) show. I haven't watched it yet. Hopefully I'll get to it by the end of the weekend.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The Power of Love
Let's get one thing straight right away: I do not think Celine Dion is the best singer in the world. She has a nice voice, and she seems like a very nice person, but her cornball rating is off the charts. The woman is certifiably nutty, which I guess is what happens when you're French Canadian.
"The best singer in the world" title comes from the Ana Gasteyer sketch from SNL in the late 90s. I found only one video, so let's hope it stays up on YouTube for a while:
"The best singer in the world" title comes from the Ana Gasteyer sketch from SNL in the late 90s. I found only one video, so let's hope it stays up on YouTube for a while:
So, Celine had some twins. And she has a giant mansion in Florida, complete with a lazy river and some water slides. It looks awesome. But soon she'll be back in Las Vegas for three more years at Caesar's Palace. In 2005, I went with Ellen DeGeneres and a bunch of mothers for a Mother's Day weekend in Vegas. We stayed at Caesar's, and everyone got to see Celine's show. I was there when all the mothers met Celine before the show, and she was super nice, but I couldn't bear the idea of sitting through her show. So I gave up my ticket and won $467 at craps instead. That's what I call a win-win.
In case you want to see some of that meeting with Celine, I managed to find a YouTube video of it. I haven't transferred my own tapes to the computer, so we have to deal with what I can find online. Basically, most of the audience reaction shots in the segment (once they get to Vegas, which is about 1:55 into the video) are ones I shot.
Oprah interviewed Celine for the first 20 minutes of the show, which was odd. Seems like a waste of the "Oprah & Celine" graphic made for the show, especially since Celine's name was almost as big as Oprah's this time around. This was her 27th appearance on the show, and Katie said that the guest's name just gets bigger every time. It's a good thing this is Oprah's Farewell Season, since if Celine kept showing up on that stage, Oprah would have to just give her the show.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The Only Way In Which Liz Lemon and I Are Different
I really don't like this habit I've gotten into of not writing about the show until a week's worth of episodes has aired. I lose track of whatever it was that I wanted to write about in the first place, and I'm stuck staring at the "past shows" page on Oprah's website, trying to come up with witty repartee about five hours of a daytime talk show. I know it's pretty late to be asking this question, but exactly why did I decide to take on this project?
On Tuesday, Katie and I watched Monday's episode, which featured Roseanne Barr. Then we didn't watch a single other episode until Saturday afternoon, when we decided to just make it an Oprah marathon, and we crammed in those final four episodes. Yes, that is how we spend Saturday nights. Well, when we're not at Office Depot buying new pens so we can keep working on our New York Times Sunday Crossword Omnibus.
Yes, that's how we spent last Saturday night.
I told Katie that we would be spending our afternoon "Ope-ing," and then during the marathon, I sent her a text (yes, she was right next to me on the couch; shut up--it's cute) saying, "Thanks for Ope-ing with me." She responded, "It makes me Ope-ful."
We are geniuses with the wordplay, folks.
On Thursday night's episode of 30 Rock, Liz Lemon was very excited about something and explained, "My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's Farewell Season."
While I can't claim that watching this show has made my heart pound in excitement, I will say that I've broken out in a nervous sweat more than once over the prospect of having to write about all these episodes. But I'm doing it. We're chugging right along.
Also, do you think Tina Fey was giving me a shout-out with that line? I mean, she did say, "...like I'm watching Oprah's..."
Seems pretty obvious to me.
Roseanne was, surprisingly, mostly boring. She lives on a nut farm now and has some grandkids, and her controversial self seems long gone. She's still outspoken, but just not really that interesting. She thought Oprah had been mad at her because Roseanne didn't like that Oprah picked Obama over Hillary Clinton. Oprah, not surprisingly, had never given two shits about what Roseanne said, and so was never angry over the "situation."
That, and the fact that Roseanne's black sheep was named "Roseanne," is the only thing I remember from the episode.
On Tuesday, Katie and I watched Monday's episode, which featured Roseanne Barr. Then we didn't watch a single other episode until Saturday afternoon, when we decided to just make it an Oprah marathon, and we crammed in those final four episodes. Yes, that is how we spend Saturday nights. Well, when we're not at Office Depot buying new pens so we can keep working on our New York Times Sunday Crossword Omnibus.
Yes, that's how we spent last Saturday night.
I told Katie that we would be spending our afternoon "Ope-ing," and then during the marathon, I sent her a text (yes, she was right next to me on the couch; shut up--it's cute) saying, "Thanks for Ope-ing with me." She responded, "It makes me Ope-ful."
We are geniuses with the wordplay, folks.
On Thursday night's episode of 30 Rock, Liz Lemon was very excited about something and explained, "My heart's pounding like I'm watching Oprah's Farewell Season."
While I can't claim that watching this show has made my heart pound in excitement, I will say that I've broken out in a nervous sweat more than once over the prospect of having to write about all these episodes. But I'm doing it. We're chugging right along.
Also, do you think Tina Fey was giving me a shout-out with that line? I mean, she did say, "...like I'm watching Oprah's..."
Seems pretty obvious to me.
Roseanne was, surprisingly, mostly boring. She lives on a nut farm now and has some grandkids, and her controversial self seems long gone. She's still outspoken, but just not really that interesting. She thought Oprah had been mad at her because Roseanne didn't like that Oprah picked Obama over Hillary Clinton. Oprah, not surprisingly, had never given two shits about what Roseanne said, and so was never angry over the "situation."
That, and the fact that Roseanne's black sheep was named "Roseanne," is the only thing I remember from the episode.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
It's Been One Week
I looked at the list of shows I watched this week, and that's when I realized that I haven't written about the last five. And I've only watched the last four. That damn episode with Barbara Walters and the rest of The View ladies is sitting on my TiVo. I don't know when I'll be able to brave it.
This week was full of episodes that weren't exactly fun to get through. Monday, it was Donald Trump and his whole family. I didn't want to watch that one at all, so much so that on Tuesday night when I had the choice between that episode and the one about twin sisters who were raped by their fathers and brothers, I chose the incest episode.
And it was certainly more compelling than Trump's episode, but maybe not quite as disturbing. Yes, yes, those poor twins were raped for years and years, starting at age five, by first their brothers and then their father. And their mother knew all about it, and even walked in on it more than once, and still turned a blind eye.
But, come on. Have you seen Trump's hair?
My biggest problem with the Family Trump is the same problem I've had with many guests this season. I don't need Trump's kids coming on national television to tell me that they were raised just like everyone else in this country, and that life was perfectly normal. Yes, it was. For you. But when you have maids and you live in penthouses and you know all kinds of celebrities, and your father is a celebrity, you're only normal to the other people in your world. The ones you talk to when you head over to the Jolie-Pitt house for a playdate.
A perfect example of this not-at-all-ordinary family: there was big talk about the daughter that Trump had with Marla Maples, Tiffany, and how she hadn't been in the spotlight and was only now, at the age of seventeen, "coming out" (in the debutante sense) on Oprah. But Oprah's people found pictures to show of the daughter before we got to see her in her taped segment, and two of the three that I noticed featured Tiffany and her mother in front of those standard backdrops that you see when celebs walk the red carpet before a party.
Hey, guess what? I lived a pretty "normal" childhood, too. The difference is, the only things that featured as a backdrop for my childhood photos were my grandma's fireplace and my little brother putting up two fingers as bunny ears.
This week was full of episodes that weren't exactly fun to get through. Monday, it was Donald Trump and his whole family. I didn't want to watch that one at all, so much so that on Tuesday night when I had the choice between that episode and the one about twin sisters who were raped by their fathers and brothers, I chose the incest episode.
And it was certainly more compelling than Trump's episode, but maybe not quite as disturbing. Yes, yes, those poor twins were raped for years and years, starting at age five, by first their brothers and then their father. And their mother knew all about it, and even walked in on it more than once, and still turned a blind eye.
But, come on. Have you seen Trump's hair?
My biggest problem with the Family Trump is the same problem I've had with many guests this season. I don't need Trump's kids coming on national television to tell me that they were raised just like everyone else in this country, and that life was perfectly normal. Yes, it was. For you. But when you have maids and you live in penthouses and you know all kinds of celebrities, and your father is a celebrity, you're only normal to the other people in your world. The ones you talk to when you head over to the Jolie-Pitt house for a playdate.
A perfect example of this not-at-all-ordinary family: there was big talk about the daughter that Trump had with Marla Maples, Tiffany, and how she hadn't been in the spotlight and was only now, at the age of seventeen, "coming out" (in the debutante sense) on Oprah. But Oprah's people found pictures to show of the daughter before we got to see her in her taped segment, and two of the three that I noticed featured Tiffany and her mother in front of those standard backdrops that you see when celebs walk the red carpet before a party.
Hey, guess what? I lived a pretty "normal" childhood, too. The difference is, the only things that featured as a backdrop for my childhood photos were my grandma's fireplace and my little brother putting up two fingers as bunny ears.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I've Got Dreams to Remember
Today I was going through the older pages on my new favorite site, xkcd, as I am methodically making my way through all of them. Over at Robots, I wrote about my obsession with the site, so head over there if you'd like a little more information. Within that post, I kindly provided two links back to this site, so it's just one big circle.
One of the strips I read today really blew my mind:
I don't even know if I can adequately explain what this is currently doing to my brain, but it's significant. I think it's because I've always been certain that I'm destined for big things. When I was younger, I was absolutely positive that I would be famous in some way. That's probably the main reason I went to film school. And when I moved to Los Angeles and started working in film and television, then got hired by Ellen DeGeneres herself, I was certain I was on my way to making my dreams come true.
One of the strips I read today really blew my mind:
I don't even know if I can adequately explain what this is currently doing to my brain, but it's significant. I think it's because I've always been certain that I'm destined for big things. When I was younger, I was absolutely positive that I would be famous in some way. That's probably the main reason I went to film school. And when I moved to Los Angeles and started working in film and television, then got hired by Ellen DeGeneres herself, I was certain I was on my way to making my dreams come true.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Watching (Half of) Oprah
It happened again. I had to leave my house at 4:35, which means I missed the second half of Tuesday's episode. And then, on Wednesday, I missed the episode entirely. This is what happens when you move to being a one-car family, and your partner gets off work at 4:00 most days. That woman just keeps demanding a ride home.
So, after I picked up Katie last night, we went to Best Buy. And I splurged on a TiVo. I've made a little money lately, and we've done a good job with reducing our debt significantly, so it seemed like if the choice was between just giving up on this project, and shelling out a little cash for the TiVo, I should probably choose the latter. So I did. I came home, set it up with our antenna that receives the HD signal, and we were good to go. TiVo even helped me to learn that Oprah re-airs at 10pm on one of the digital stations. Information that it would have been nice to know, say, on Tuesday. But at least it means that I haven't officially missed Wednesday's episode. I just haven't watched it yet.
I have no idea why I'm so attached to this project. I'm averaging 75 page hits a day, which is nothing. And it's not like I've received any attention over it. So I guess this is just something I'm doing for myself. I'm my harshest critic (except for maybe Erica, of course), and I guess I'm a bit of a taskmaster, too. I would be extremely disappointed in myself if I had to give up something as simple as writing a blog. Which means I'm pushing through. I'm going to keep on keeping on.
But this post is about Tuesday's episode, which was all about Oprah and 378 of her staffers going vegan for a week. Since I missed the second half, I didn't get to see the overall results of the experiment, though we did get a few hints: a bunch of people had gas, and one person lost eleven pounds in the week.
I did get to see enough that I'm considering vegetarianism. I've considered it before, generally after biting down on a piece of gristle in a hamburger, or after watching Food, Inc (if you haven't seen it, rent it or stream it on Netflix immediately). But I've never really thought I could do it. I hardly ever eat red meat, but I do eat a lot of chicken. And now that I'm poor, I can't afford the fancy cage-free, organic, all-our-chickens-get-daily-massages kind of stuff. So that makes it less desirable to eat a chicken breast that's been engineered to be larger than my head, and much more appealing to consider going meat-free.
So, after I picked up Katie last night, we went to Best Buy. And I splurged on a TiVo. I've made a little money lately, and we've done a good job with reducing our debt significantly, so it seemed like if the choice was between just giving up on this project, and shelling out a little cash for the TiVo, I should probably choose the latter. So I did. I came home, set it up with our antenna that receives the HD signal, and we were good to go. TiVo even helped me to learn that Oprah re-airs at 10pm on one of the digital stations. Information that it would have been nice to know, say, on Tuesday. But at least it means that I haven't officially missed Wednesday's episode. I just haven't watched it yet.
I have no idea why I'm so attached to this project. I'm averaging 75 page hits a day, which is nothing. And it's not like I've received any attention over it. So I guess this is just something I'm doing for myself. I'm my harshest critic (except for maybe Erica, of course), and I guess I'm a bit of a taskmaster, too. I would be extremely disappointed in myself if I had to give up something as simple as writing a blog. Which means I'm pushing through. I'm going to keep on keeping on.
But this post is about Tuesday's episode, which was all about Oprah and 378 of her staffers going vegan for a week. Since I missed the second half, I didn't get to see the overall results of the experiment, though we did get a few hints: a bunch of people had gas, and one person lost eleven pounds in the week.
I did get to see enough that I'm considering vegetarianism. I've considered it before, generally after biting down on a piece of gristle in a hamburger, or after watching Food, Inc (if you haven't seen it, rent it or stream it on Netflix immediately). But I've never really thought I could do it. I hardly ever eat red meat, but I do eat a lot of chicken. And now that I'm poor, I can't afford the fancy cage-free, organic, all-our-chickens-get-daily-massages kind of stuff. So that makes it less desirable to eat a chicken breast that's been engineered to be larger than my head, and much more appealing to consider going meat-free.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Oscars
There was a moment in time where I was slated to be attending this year's Oscars. For reasons I do not care to go into at the moment, I will not be present at the Kodak Theatre on February 27, 2011. Consequently, any sort of talk about the awards ceremony sort of bums me out hardcore.
But, Oprah cares deeply about the Oscars. And I care deeply about bringing you commentary on all of Oprah's deepest loves and desires. Which means I got to watch Sissy Spacek, Holly Hunter, and Susan Sarandon (live via satellite, since she was trapped in New York due to last week's blizzard) wax poetically about the glamour and glitz that is the Academy Awards.
And it wasn't so terrible. All three ladies are pretty grounded, and I've always had a bit of thing for Holly Hunter, so I'm not going to tell you that I didn't enjoy watching the episode. It was just a bunch of girls sitting around gabbing, and I guess it was relatively painless.
I will tell you that I had to leave at 4:30, which means I only saw these three women being interviewed, and missed the rest of the show. In the second half, Oprah was supposed to talk to a few of this year's nominees. Since I missed it, I'm just going to guess how it went.
And that, as they say, was probably that.
Tuesday: Oprah and 378 staffers go vegan for a week
But, Oprah cares deeply about the Oscars. And I care deeply about bringing you commentary on all of Oprah's deepest loves and desires. Which means I got to watch Sissy Spacek, Holly Hunter, and Susan Sarandon (live via satellite, since she was trapped in New York due to last week's blizzard) wax poetically about the glamour and glitz that is the Academy Awards.
And it wasn't so terrible. All three ladies are pretty grounded, and I've always had a bit of thing for Holly Hunter, so I'm not going to tell you that I didn't enjoy watching the episode. It was just a bunch of girls sitting around gabbing, and I guess it was relatively painless.
I will tell you that I had to leave at 4:30, which means I only saw these three women being interviewed, and missed the rest of the show. In the second half, Oprah was supposed to talk to a few of this year's nominees. Since I missed it, I'm just going to guess how it went.
Oprah: You were so amazing in {insert name of movie here}!
Nominee: Thank you! It was really a {challenging and/or rewarding} experience, and I'm just so happy to have been recognized by my peers.
Oprah: What are you going to wear? What are you going to say if you win?
Nominee: I'm not sure yet. And I don't want to prepare a speech beforehand, {but I'll probably thank my agent and/or lawyer}.
Oprah: You know, I remember what it was like when I was nominated. I'm presenting this year! And remember that I'm going to do a special Oscar show the day after the awards!
And that, as they say, was probably that.
Tuesday: Oprah and 378 staffers go vegan for a week
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