Oscars

There was a moment in time where I was slated to be attending this year's Oscars. For reasons I do not care to go into at the moment, I will not be present at the Kodak Theatre on February 27, 2011. Consequently, any sort of talk about the awards ceremony sort of bums me out hardcore.

But, Oprah cares deeply about the Oscars. And I care deeply about bringing you commentary on all of Oprah's deepest loves and desires. Which means I got to watch Sissy Spacek, Holly Hunter, and Susan Sarandon (live via satellite, since she was trapped in New York due to last week's blizzard) wax poetically about the glamour and glitz that is the Academy Awards.

And it wasn't so terrible. All three ladies are pretty grounded, and I've always had a bit of thing for Holly Hunter, so I'm not going to tell you that I didn't enjoy watching the episode. It was just a bunch of girls sitting around gabbing, and I guess it was relatively painless.

I will tell you that I had to leave at 4:30, which means I only saw these three women being interviewed, and missed the rest of the show. In the second half, Oprah was supposed to talk to a few of this year's nominees. Since I missed it, I'm just going to guess how it went.

Oprah: You were so amazing in {insert name of movie here}!

Nominee: Thank you! It was really a {challenging and/or rewarding} experience, and I'm just so happy to have been recognized by my peers.

Oprah: What are you going to wear? What are you going to say if you win?

Nominee: I'm not sure yet. And I don't want to prepare a speech beforehand, {but I'll probably thank my agent and/or lawyer}.

Oprah: You know, I remember what it was like when I was nominated. I'm presenting this year! And remember that I'm going to do a special Oscar show the day after the awards!

And that, as they say, was probably that.


Tuesday: Oprah and 378 staffers go vegan for a week