Oprah: The Next Chapter

You can all thank my friend Jackie for this one. Last week, she requested (in a Facebook status, no less) that I watch Barbara Walters interview Oprah, then write about it on the blog. I gave in, mostly because I had to appreciate her willingness to use her own status to beg me.

There is no truth to the rumor that I was secretly looking for an excuse to watch this special.

Did anyone else watch this? My biggest complaint is that Oprah looked terrible. Something was going on with the lighting on her, because Walters looked perfectly normal (I mean, as normal as she can look after all that surgery), but Oprah just looked awful. Too much light on her face, and the HD only highlighted the fact that there may not actually be any hair in her eyebrows, and that she has skin issues just like the rest of us. Katie kept finding things to pop on Oprah's chin, and I just don't think that's the way any woman wants to appear on camera.

The special started off with Oprah singing the chorus of "The Gambler" (which you'll recall she did in part two of the Yosemite adventure), I guess in regard to knowing when to walk away from her show. Apparently she joked about the idea of creating her own network fifteen years ago, and Stedman took her seriously and thought she should do it. It took some time, but she wanted to create "mindful television," and she finally hooked up with the Discovery Channel to get the OWN network going. She was "very scared" during the process of setting up the network, and sometimes woke up and night "clutching her chest." But since she mentioned that all in the past tense, I suppose the fear is gone. Of course, that doesn't make sense, since there's no indication that the network will succeed, so I'd still be pretty terrified. But I guess she doesn't really have a whole lot to lose, so what do I know?



With her levels of confidence, I suppose she doesn't have room for fear anymore. She is looking to change television. Hey, she's done it before, so we shouldn't bet against her this time. When discussing the current state of television, she bordered on talking down to those of us who enjoy it (though I will say that I don't watch crap like Two and a Half Men or CSI: Miami, so I feel exempt from her condescension here) when she said, "I believe that people deserve to have value-centered, inspirational programming for themselves. I believe that television has become, in many ways, banal. It has become insipid...but I think that I have something to offer."

Look, I think it's stupid that The Biggest Loser takes two hours to just get to the good stuff, but I'm still watching. And I don't know how Carson Kressley looking for the next big television star is going to be any better. Oprah mentioned another show on her network that she loves, called Kidnapped by the Kids. Just based on the tiny clip they showed on this special, I am going to hate this show (as though I'll be watching any of the new network, anyway). I guess the premise is that dads (hopefully moms will be featured as well) are working too much and not paying attention to their kids, so the kids "kidnap" the parent and force him/her to do something fun. In the clip, two kids meet their father at the airport, where he is presumably leaving on a trip, then tell him that they're taking him camping. When he says he can't, the bitchy wife jumps in and says, "Yes you can," and just generally sounds annoying. Sure he can, lady. Just let him call up the boss and quit, and then you can forget about your weekly tips to the tanning bed. Sound good? No? Then shut up and let the dude work and support your family.

At this point, Oprah mentioned something about doing 140 episodes this year. Um, I was told the number is 130. Can someone get me an accurate count on this, please?

Walters showed a clip from a 1988 interview, in which Oprah said that she "...had always known that she was born for greatness." No joke, but I've always thought the same thing about myself. Seriously. Do you think this blog will get me there?

Regardless, Walters had the gall to sit in front of the most famous, most successful person in the universe and say, "Do you think you accomplished that?" Oprah, to her credit, didn't respond with, "Bitch, please," and instead said, "I'm in the process." She then told Walters that the last 25 years have been just the beginning.

Walters then attempted to ask Oprah about her father, and Oprah said, in quite the clipped tone, "My father is fine, and our relationship is fine." No one believes you, Oprah. But I guess it's nice to know that you're taking care of your parents and making sure that they never have to want for anything.

At some point while she was still living in Mississippi, Oprah competed in a "Miss Fire Prevention" beauty contest, and told them that she wanted to be a television journalist, just like--you'll never guess--Barbara Walters. Walters said she's always taken credit for Oprah's career anyway, so this is just validation.

In that 1988 interview, Oprah told Walters that she had been raped. This began the theme of sexual abuse that has been prevalent on Oprah's show over the years. And wouldn't you know it, even on this special I was forced to sit through a segment all about the "200 sexually abused men" episodes. Can't I get a break from Tyler Perry?

About those episodes, Oprah said, "I have never been prouder of myself and my team. I've never been prouder of the work."

Someone on Walters' team was busy, counting up that Oprah has hosted more than 4400 shows, and interviewed more than 29,000 guests. Geez. Oprah said she could essentially take or leave the celebrity guests, but "the heart, the soul, the depth, the richness of the show has been ordinary people who have done just extraordinary things." She brought up Monica George (who was on the show back in September), the mother who lost all her limbs just after child birth. She also mentioned Mattie Stepanek, a boy with a terminal form of muscular dystrophy, whom Oprah met in 2001.

Stepanek is part of the reason why we're getting 25 years of Oprah. Around the time she was trying to decide if she should just stop at 20, Stepanek wrote her an email and told her that he felt she should get to 25. He came on her show six times, and died in 2004, just shy of his fourteenth birthday and Oprah's 20th season.

There was a little segment on the spinoff shows that Oprah has created for Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz and Nate Berkus, but it was boring.

I'll note here that Katie insisted that I not watch this thing without her, which is why I had to wait for her to get home from work on Saturday afternoon, instead of getting it out of the way while she was gone on Saturday morning. So, it makes sense that at this point in the episode, I looked over to find that she wasn't looking at the screen, and was, in fact, playing "Angry Birds" on her phone. Classic.

Walters brought up Oprah's obsession with weight over the years, and Oprah said, "I think I did myself a great disservice, focusing on the external body features." When Walters asked if she still diets, Oprah said, "No. I'll never diet again. I refuse to beat myself up about it anymore." Well, that explains that, I guess.

On to the story of the Oprah/Gayle friendship. Gayle was a production assistant at the station where Oprah was a reporter in Baltimore. They became instant friends. Oprah got weepy for the first time here, when she said the quote that I'm sure you've all read by now. She said about Gayle, "She is the mother I never had. She is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I don't know a better person. I don't know a better person." Then she requested some tissue.

And the other part of this interview you've probably already read about is when Oprah denied the rumors that she and Gayle are secretly lesbian lovers. The best part about this quote is the way Oprah seems to think that being gay is akin to a nationality. When you read the quotes elsewhere, they claim that Oprah said, "I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even kind of a lesbian." Not so. What she actually said was, "I'm not lesbian. I'm not even kinda lesbian." You know, the same way one would say, "I'm not Canadian." I love how the press just added the article there, even though the real quote is much funnier to me.

Oprah said that in 2003 or 2004, she purposely reduced her public appearances with Stedman. Walters was shocked to hear that Oprah and Stedman are even still together, since I guess the rumor is that they broke up long ago. Oprah, in turn, was shocked to hear that Walters was shocked. Walters wanted to clarify what Stedman is to Oprah, and Oprah said, "The love, the lover, the man, the mate." Ew. Oprah regrets bringing Stedman into the celebrity world somewhat against his will, and she noted that if they had gotten married, they would be divorced by now because marriage comes with too many expectations. Oprah choked up when she said that she doesn't think any other man could have lived this life with as much dignity and humility as Stedman has.

On to the subject of children. Walters said that Oprah should call her if she ever regrets not having children, since Walters loves her own daughter, but acknowledged that they had problems due to Mommy working so much. Oprah said that she knows she couldn't have lived this life with a child in tow, so she has no regrets about it.

There was some talk of the school in South Africa, which will graduate its first group of girls next year. Oprah is incredibly proud of that legacy, as well she should be.

Walters mentioned that Oprah has said that she wants to change millions of people, and Oprah said, "I am seeking the fullest expression of myself as a human being on earth. That is the deal." Then she quoted the Bill Withers' song, "Use Me," which goes, "just keep on using me 'til you use me up." Oprah says that to god all the time.

So Oprah is an instrument of god. But we've always known that, haven't we?

And as for the future, Oprah said, "There's lots more to be done." Whatever you think of the woman, I suppose you have to admire her willingness to get out there and do stuff to help people and try to change the world. Many people in her position would probably be pulling an Uncle Scrooge, just diving into big piles of gold every day.

Next week is full of repeats. I'm not sure what that means for the blog, but I promise there will be something here for you to read. Even if that means I have to break out the Oprah: 20th Anniversary Collection that Katie's friend Jordan got us recently. Six discs! But, man, I really hope it doesn't come to that.

Oh, and I guess Oprah and the gang are already down in Australia. I have no idea when those episodes will air, but rest assured that they arrived safely and, judging from the pictures out there in the Google, they're having a blast.