11/24/10 -- Garth Brooks

Remember when I told you about how I love The Judds, but I have to accept the fact that they're super corny? That's sort of how I feel about Garth Brooks. I will sing along to most any Garth song, and I love many of them, but I've always found his super enthusiasm and earnestness to be a little bit forced and a bit over the top. When I've seen footage of him in concert, it's always just a little much to me. And every time I've seen him in a place where people are applauding him, his shocked reaction just doesn't sit right with me. I mean, the dude has been doing this for how long? Am I really supposed to believe that he doesn't think that there will be adoring crowds anywhere he goes?

Perhaps I'm just being cynical. I guess there's a chance that someone can remain that grateful and excited about his life every day for two decades. It's unlikely, but I suppose it's possible. So maybe in the spirit of the season, I'll give Garth the benefit of the doubt here.

What I will not give him is my acceptance of his wearing a ball cap to appear on Oprah. And not just any ball cap. No, Mr. Brooks chose to wear a cap with his logo on it, with the words "Wynn Las Vegas" written underneath. So not only is he on a nationally televised talk show to promote his show in Vegas, he also has to wear a hat, just to make sure he covers all the bases. Look, I get it, Garth. You don't have much hair left. But you don't look bad without the hat. Couldn't you, at the very least, put on a cowboy hat? You used to wear one all the time. Better yet, maybe you should just accept your baldness and handle it gracefully. I feel like I have room to speak on this, since I've been going bald since I was eighteen. And yes, I wear a hat or scarf daily. But it's a lot easier for a man to rock the bald look than it is for a chick. So own it, Garth. I'd have a lot more respect for you if you did.


The show opened with a lot of slow, boring talk about Garth giving little speeches to his three daughters about boys, and stuff about how much his daughters have taught him about life and what it feels like in this world for a girl. Then talk about how Lifetime has made a movie based on Garth's big hit, "Unanswered Prayers." It already aired on Lifetime, and my obligation to Oprah does not extend to Lifetime movies promoted on the show, thankfully. Which is not to say that I don't have a deep love for that song, or that I didn't enjoy it when Garth picked up the guitar and sang the first verse and the chorus. Dramatic or not, the man can sing.

Oprah mentioned that a while ago, she went home to California and there was a room full of flowers from Garth, and she didn't know why he had sent them. Garth told her it was because she had allowed his songwriting partner's wife, who has battled a lot of illnesses, to come to the show, and it was the best day of that woman's life. Garth teared up here, and not for the last time in the episode.

Laci's husband, Ryan, wrote in to the show about how his wife is such a huge fan of Garth Brooks. So Oprah arranged a surprise with the help of Laci's friend, Danielle. Danielle pretended she was going to show Laci a funny viral video featuring Oprah, but when Laci showed up in Danielle's office, there was Oprah, live via webcam. The segment was taped during one of the camping episodes, which I knew because the trailers were behind Oprah as she told Laci that the latter would be going to Vegas to see Garth's show, then meeting him backstage after the performance. Laci was, predictably, very excited.

After we saw the taped package of Laci attending the show and meeting Garth, we cut back to the studio audience, where Garth was tearing up again. Oprah mentioned that Laci and Ryan played "Friends in Low Places" at their wedding, and Garth agreed with me that a song about infidelity is an odd choice for a wedding. But that didn't stop Garth from playing the song (or at least the first verse and the chorus), while Oprah coached the audience on swaying back and forth, and tried to sing along.

They went to commercial, and when they came back, we were randomly dealing with Carson Kressley's piece about his attendance at the "Running of the Brides" in Boston. I will tell you right now that I think women who care this much about their wedding, and especially about their dresses, are crazy. I was never the girl who pictured what her wedding would look like when she grew up, and for as long as I can remember I've thought that spending a bajillion dollars on one day is a ridiculous notion. So watching women basically run over each other for a chance to get in to Filene's Basement for some bargain prices on wedding dresses is mostly just cringeworthy for me. Oprah was shocked, having never seen anything like this before, and Kressley echoed my sentiments when he said, "It's like exposing a cult." Kind of like the previous show with the Catholic nuns, if you ask me.

Kressley helped one woman, Kathryn, find the perfect dress during the maelstrom. Kathryn was in the audience for the taping, and came up on stage to see some models showing off potential bridesmaid dresses. It took Kathryn a second to realize that the "models" who were coming out were her own bridesmaids, who had flown in secretly for the show.

Then, for more randomness, Ali Wentworth met up with chef Tyler Florence in Santa Monica to try out three food trucks. The food truck craze is sweeping the nation, so Wentworth wanted to get on board. They tried a bunch of food, and then, again really randomly, brought out Lee Majors, Ali's childhood crush, to surprise her. The two shared a meal, and back in the studio we learned that Kressley also had a crush on Majors when he was in high school. So then Ali surprised Kressley by having Majors come out on stage and give him a rose. Turns out there's a new boxed set of Six Million Dollar Man available on DVD, so I guess this was just a really strange way of promoting it.

More Garth Brooks. I love how there was no explanation of his coming and going. He came back out to sing "The Dance," and this time we got the whole song. The audience loved it, and we even got a glimpse of Oprah trying to sing along. I'm sorry, but I'm just not buying that Oprah has a single word of a Garth Brooks song memorized, so are there lyrics on a teleprompter somewhere? Whatever. Whether she actually knew the song or not, by the end of it she was pretty emotional. She wished everyone a happy Thanksgiving and ended the show.


Next: Remembering JFK, Jr.