Kidnapping and Rape

Yesterday's guest, Ingrid Betancourt, was kidnapped and held in the jungle for six years. She was released two years ago, and just did her first interview about the ordeal with Oprah. Or at least her first American, nationally televised interview. Which, let's face it, is the only kind that matters.

Today's guest, Sarah Shourd, was kidnapped (or "arrested") in Iran and held for fourteen months. She was released nine days ago. And today she is on Oprah. Too soon. Way, way too soon. Please go to therapy first.

Katie: "Oprah is therapy. Did you not see The Judds on their episode?"

Look, I'm not saying that Shourd and her two male friends (one of whom became her fiancé while they were in prison) deserved what happened to them at the hands of the Iranian government. A rape victim doesn't deserve to be raped because she wears a short skirt. But if she wears a short skirt that says, "rape me," then walks into a neighborhood known as "Rape Alley," and stands in front of a dude who's wearing a shirt that says, "recently released on good behavior, and I was in jail because I raped someone," and starts to dance, then maybe she could say that her actions are a little bit to blame for what happens.

So, I'm just saying that perhaps hiking in northern Iraq, dangerously close to the Iranian border, with no clue that you even were dangerously close the Iranian border, while being American, might have been the type of behavior that might have led one to believe there was a chance one might run into some trouble. But maybe that's just me. I tend to think that if one wants to go hiking, the Grand Canyon is an excellent choice. Do you know why? Because it hasn't been the setting of a global war effort (and by "global war effort" of course I mean "war started due to reasons concocted by the American government, along with its British puppets, and supported with, like, four soldiers from Iceland or something; you know, the "coalition"), after previously being the setting of some genocide perpetrated by a crazy dictator.

Again, maybe that's just me.

I'm glad Sarah Shourd was released from prison in Iran. I hope that her two friends get released soon, too, especially since none of them did anything criminally wrong. Unless criminally stupid counts. But when Oprah talks to her and looks at her like she's some sort of a hero, it confuses me. Thankfully, there was no mention of her being a "warrior woman."

Mostly, I'm just annoyed that we got two "I survived being held hostage" stories back-to-back. That doesn't make sense to me from a ratings standpoint, but something tells me Oprah's ratings aren't suffering.

At the end of this segment, Oprah brought on the mothers of all three hostages. And at this point I decided I really don't like these "quiet" episodes of the show. The audience didn't make a sound for this entire hour. What I need in an Oprah episode is confetti and cheering. This thing really should have ended with Oprah announcing that she intervened and got the Iranian government to release the two men, and here they are!

Instead, we move on to a story about rape.

I feel a little guilty that I made a rape analogy up there at all, since the second guest of the episode was an actual rape victim. The gist of it is that her ex-boyfriend posted pictures of her on Craig's List, alongside text that said something about her looking for an "aggressive man." Interested men contacted her boyfriend to get her information, and one of the 161 who responded showed up at this woman's house and raped her. Anally and vaginally. We were eating dinner while watching this episode, and Katie and I both stopped during the rape description, forks in mid-air, and vowed to not watch Oprah again while eating.

This rapist also used a knife sharpener to penetrate his victim, and held a knife to her throat. All devastating, horrible things. I took literally one note about this entire segment (which lasted half the show), and it was something I wrote down as they aired a taped piece in which the woman showed us around her home. She pointed to the knife block on her kitchen cabinet and said that it was where the sharpener and knife used in the crime once were. The knife block is a constant reminder of what happened.

Seriously. Time to get a new knife block. Oprah, where's the confetti and cheering over getting this woman a new set of damn knives? Please. Give me something.


Tomorrow: that giant announcement that will "shake up public education."