11/2/10 -- Ricky Martin

Part two of Oprah & Gayle's Big Yosemite Camping Adventure is airing in roughly three hours. But first I have to get through writing about Ricky Martin. I guess I should never have told you people that I have a rule about posting before midnight on the day an episode airs. Now you expect me to follow through on that one, and here it is after noon the following day, and I have yet to write a word. Such a disappointment.

Ricky Martin has been gay forever. We've all known it since the day he showed up on the "scene." According to Oprah, Martin "gave one of the most explosive performances in television history" at the 1999 Grammys. With this and calling Ellen and Portia "one of the most celebrated couples in history," I have to wonder who's writing for Oprah these days. Whoever it is sure likes superlatives. Does anyone actually remember that Grammy performance? I don't. I guess I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I mean, it wasn't Madonna rolling around in a wedding dress or anything.

Anyway, despite the fact that most breathing human beings have always known that Ricky Martin is gay, he only officially came out in March 2010. After how many years without really being in the spotlight? Guess it seemed like the right time for him to get back in the public eye. Maybe he had always been afraid of ruining his career, but it's hard to ruin a career when you don't have one to speak of, right?

Ricky and I disagree on something, and thankfully Oprah ends up being on my side in this debate, too. After talking about a Barbara Walters interview in which Walters asked Martin about the gay rumors, Martin said, "When someone is not ready, we must not try to force that person to come out."




The second Martin said that, I had to pause my television and call bullshit. Because his statement is an illustration of exactly what causes kids to be afraid to come out, or feel like they're alone in the world and therefore don't need to remain in this world. Look, we all know that there will always be bigots out there who dislike homosexuals because they think the Lord God tells them to. As much as we may want to change that, there's not a whole lot we can do about it, other than wait for them to die off so that they can be replaced by people who have hearts and understand that love is love, no matter what the gender of the participants. Who loves a run-on sentence? I do.

So, it's difficult to fight back against the religious right. I get that. Which means that we have to do everything we can to make it as easy on ourselves as possible. Gay people, as well as their supporters, can't go around thinking it's okay for anyone--particularly gay celebrities--to remain closeted because that's a "private issue" or whatever. If a kid knows there are rumors about Ricky Martin or any celebrity, and that person refuses to acknowledge the rumors, what message are we sending to that kid? You're a celebrity and you're afraid being gay might destroy your career, so you stay in the closet. And somewhere a kid sees that and thinks being gay will ruin his life, so he stays in the closet. And sometimes those kids stay in that closet until they hang themselves in it because they can't take the bullying or the shame anymore.

That shame disappears more and more every time someone out there admits to being gay. You know the old saying: Every time a celebrity says he's gay (or she's gay), an angel gets some rainbow wings. And with every celebrity who does it, it becomes easier for the next one down the line. Be brave. Say who you are. Don't wait a decade or more to do it, and then cry about the children who have lost their lives to homophobia. How many of them would still be alive if we could just live in a society that didn't make it seem like it's such a god damn big deal to be gay?

Oprah is on my side on this issue, because soon after Martin insisted that no one should be forced out of the closet, Oprah said, "You know, I think if everybody who were gay were to come out, it would change the world." Word, Oprah. Seriously, that's exactly right. What if we lived in a world where "coming out" wasn't even a thing? What if you just realized you like one sex or the other, and you dated those people? Wouldn't that be nice?

I'm glad Martin is out now. I'm sorry that it took him so long. If we really want kids to believe this idea that "it gets better," then we have to show them that there are adults out there who are not living in fear of being exiled for being gay.

Martin was apparently spurred to come out after he had his children, twin boys named Mateo and Valentino. It took him until they were nearly two years old, but he said he didn't want his children to think of their family as something that should be hidden. He didn't want them to live a lie. All I have to say about his twin boys is that they look like twin girls. Cut that hair!

Oprah showed taped interviews of a few dudes who were able to come out after being inspired by Ricky Martin. One of them talked about how important it is that Martin is Latino and speaks Spanish. I hadn't thought of that. Considering the stereotypical machismo of the Latino community, it must help gay Latino guys when one of their own--especially one so popular, who is such a sex symbol--comes out of the closet. The black community could probably use one of those, too. Oprah?

Oprah aired an old episode of AM Chicago from way back in 1984, when a young Oprah and a young Ricky Martin met for the first time after Martin performed as part of Menudo. Oprah picked up a little girl in the audience and brought her up for a hug and a kiss from Martin. On Tuesday's episode, that little girl (now 30-ish) was in the audience. That was kind of cute.

Then Ricky Martin and Joss Stone perform Martin's new song. I didn't like it. But Oprah did. Twice the camera cut to her in the audience, singing along. And she didn't mess it up! I was so confused about how she already knew the words to this song.

Me: Oprah knows this song?

Katie: Oprah wrote this song.

The thing was too jazzy for me, and I don't really love Joss Stone (Katie: She just exudes 'slutty' to me.), so that wasn't the best thing I've ever seen. Luckily it signaled the end of the episode. On the way out, Oprah encouraged viewers to get Martin's new memoir, which she called "readable."

Someday I hope to become a legitimate published author, and my biggest wish will be that someone, somewhere, will indicate that they were physically able to read my book. Such a compliment from the ruler of the book publishing world. I guess the memoir isn't the next selection for Oprah's Book Club.


Wednesday: Oprah! Gayle! Big! Yosemite! Camping! Adventure!