Oprah & Gayle's Big Yosemite Camping Adventure: Part II

Oprah and Gayle are funny together. That theory was advanced in part one of this Yosemite camping adventure, and confirmed in part two. These two can make some entertaining television when they feel like it.

The episode opened with Oprah emerging from the Coleman camper that she supposedly gave away to Woody Square in part one. Gayle came out next, and I swore she came from another camper on the other side of the stage, while Katie insists that Gayle came out of the same camper as Oprah. Since I deleted the episode, I may be unable to prove either of us correct. Anyone remember the beginning of the episode?

Oprah introduced us to a recap of part one, which made me giggle all over again, especially when we got a replay of Oprah squeezing the lime with her teeth. In the new footage from their first (and last) night at the campground, we started with dinner. Gayle thought Oprah should keep it simple, with maybe a burger and a Pepperidge Farm onion bun (I bet PF liked the free publicity there), but Oprah was not having that. Apparently she likes to cook, and her crew had provided her with quite the food supply, so she decided on making some sea bass. At a campground. In an interview taped later, Oprah said that she and Gayle have been friends for 30 years, and Gayle has never cooked even an egg or a piece of toast in all that time. So cooking was Oprah's job.

One of the neighbors from part one dropped by to give Oprah a recipe for chile relleno, which Oprah did not pronounce correctly. When the neighbor left, Oprah put on some goggles (as you do) and got ready to cook over the raging fire she created. But the flames were so intense that they had to sit and wait for at least 30 minutes before the thing had died down enough for cooking. They made the sea bass, and made some potatoes that took too long to cook. So long that after their meal, we got a shot of the potatoes still on the fire, along with Oprah saying that "by tomorrow, those potatoes will be done."



While they ate their meal, Gayle tried once again to get Oprah interested in a trivia game. One of the questions led to a discussion about how coyotes are monogamous for life, prompting Gayle to say that maybe all she's been missing is a coyote. She and Oprah really laughed over the idea of Gayle with a monogamous coyote man.

In the studio, Oprah talked about how once the sun went down while camping, you really were out in the middle of nowhere, which she loved. She loved the lack of technology, and how there was no television. "I love no T.V." she exclaimed. I've already mentioned once before that I think it's a load of crap that Oprah is anti-television, so I won't get into it again here.

Back in Yosemite, Oprah made popcorn on the fire and welcomed a couple of families who were camping in the park (none of them black) to eat popcorn, chat around the fire, and then make s'mores. While they were eating, Shelton stopped by in a Buffalo Soldier uniform and did a little bit of reenacting. It's nice that he's so passionate about his job, and he seems like a really nice guy, but the part of his reenactment that we got to hear had him sounding sort of like a beat poet. That wasn't so entertaining for me.

Oprah was really concerned about the children eating so much sugar so soon before bed (she joked about them not getting any sleep until "next Thursday"), but loved that one little girl in particular, Gretchen, was so polite. Gayle even mentioned it back in the studio, and both she and Oprah pointed out more than once that they think camping people are just friendly folks.

Though I know this camping trip occurred before the season began, and therefore before I started this blog, it really felt like the next moment in this episode was just for me. Especially given the joke I wrote in the Ricky Martin post about Oprah needing to come out of the closet.

As Gayle and Oprah headed for the camper to go to bed, Gayle opened the door and said, "Let's just add to that lesbian rumor!" Oprah laughed and sang (as she is wont to do), "Lesbian rumors!" and Gayle said in a faux sexy voice, "Come on in, baby."

Now, come on. That was for me, right?

In the present day, Oprah interviewed the two families who had shared the campfire with her. Each family was in a different location, and each had seven or eight members. Group interviews like that, especially via satellite, as these were, make me nervous. Too many people talking over each other and the potential for a delay just make the whole thing awkward. This one ended up being okay, but not particularly informative or entertaining. And Oprah didn't even give them anything!

Oprah did ask one of the women how long her family had been going camping. The woman said, "We've been doing it since the day we were married." Aw, that's sweet. They waited until they were married.

The morning of the second day at the campground was hilarious. A lot of back and forth between Oprah and Gayle about how amazing they look first thing in the morning. The best moment came when Gayle asked the camera guy to get a shot of Oprah, and then said in a funny voice, "Ain't you rich?" Then Oprah needed to go to the bathroom, and neither of them could get the door open. Gayle finally ended up accidentally pulling the door off entirely.

Gayle demanded eggs with cheese for breakfast, and Oprah acted all put out about it, though I'm sure she knows that Gayle wasn't about to do any cooking. In the studio, Gayle admitted that she's spoiled, while Oprah claimed to not be. Gayle's only response: "Oh, Oprah. Please."

Oprah walked around cooking breakfast, wearing a set of pajamas with cartoon owls all over them. Amazing that she allowed herself to be taped wearing her pajamas and no makeup, but I guess it's not like she has anything to lose at this point:

Oprah: Do these pajamas make me look fat? 

Gayle: You don't look like a rich girl now.

While eating breakfast, Gayle had one of her feet propped up on the side of the fire pit, until Oprah noticed that the sole of Gayle's boot was starting to smoke. Can you tell this is the first time these two had been camping?

Next up was fly fishing. On the drive there, Oprah and Gayle got in to singing "The Gambler." Oprah especially seemed to love the song, which was endearing, since she seems to be normally opposed to singing in the car.

Then came another segment that I swear was especially for me. First of all, when I saw Oprah in her fly fishing outfit, I wondered if she knew that it would not do anything to stop the lesbian rumors:

Then came a few quotes in a row, all of which were major double entendres.

"I love thighs rubbing together." --Oprah, on her fly fishing pants.

"My first time carrying a pole." --Oprah, talking about her fishing rod.

"Whoa, it's in my crotch right now." --Oprah, when she waded deeper into the water.


Oprah is apparently a natural fly fisherman, according to the dude who taught her how to do it. She swears that she's going back again to do it soon, maybe going along when Stedman goes with his buddies.

The last thing they did before leaving Yosemite was go for a ride on a mule. On the way there, Oprah mispronounced Panera (the sandwich place) more than once, calling it Paneri's. Gayle thought it was funny that Oprah acted like it was some amazing place, when every other person in this country has heard of it. Oprah was still excited. "I've never been there before. There's so many exciting things out in the world." Oh, Oprah. So out of touch.

Oprah's mule was Roxanne, and Gayle's was Sancho. They seemed to enjoy the ride, but Oprah was feeling some pain. "I'm already sore, and I'm not out of the parking lot."

And that was it. I kind of wish those two could spend every day in Yosemite. It would make this a lot more enjoyable for me.


Tomorrow: Teen Heartthrob Surprises. Jackie Jackson, Shaun Cassidy, Backstreet Boys, and more. Wow.