Bush

To me, being the leader of a nation as influential as this one requires a little thing called nuance. You have to be delicate about things. It's not cool to just go around imposing your will on every nation out there, just because you fancy yourself "the leader of the free world." No. You have to use diplomacy. You have to be willing to compromise. You have to want to say, first and foremost, "Okay, I see where you're coming from, and since we're all citizens of this planet, let's find a way to work together."

Being that leader also requires intelligence. Nuance is a part of that intelligence, since you have to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, so to speak. Grammar is a part of that intelligence. So things like, "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" shouldn't ever come out of your mouth. Especially when it's not the only time you've ever said anything like that. No, actually, especially when you are seemingly physically incapable of putting together more than one grammatically correct sentence in a row.

So, we've got intelligence and nuance, along with a whole bunch of other things required to be the president of this country. That is, they were required prior to 2000, when a good ol' boy somehow wormed his way into the hearts of the American people (or at least into the hearts of the Supreme Court, who decided, without constitutional authority, that he should be crowned the winner) and took over this nation. He then promptly drove it straight into the ground with his aw-shucks-I'm-from-Texas-isn't-being-dumb-funny-who-likes-the-intellectuals-on-the-left-talking-down-to-us-normal-folk-I'm-going-to-get-Osama-dead-or-alive-and-did-I-mention-I'm-from-Texas-and-I-enjoy-clearing-brush attitude. He alienated other countries (and Republicans took the stance--or maybe they always had this belief--that it shouldn't matter what other countries think, because we're America, god damn it) and alienated half of the citizens of his own nation.

And then he took a giant surplus given to him by his predecessor, and turned it into the largest deficit in U.S. history.

Oh yeah, and he started an illegal war that killed thousands of American soldiers/airmen/Marines.



But, you know, I hate the troops because I think they should maybe not have been there in the first place, dying and all. I'm anti-American.

Also, I'm gay. And Bush wanted to put it in the friggin' Constitution that I should only be allowed to marry a man. Because, as we all know, being president means you get to legislate citizens' morality. And he made his stance on "preserving the sanctity of marriage" while also claiming that he didn't "...see that as conflict with being a tolerant person or an understanding person."

No, no. I'm the intolerant one, because I want to take away your religious freedoms by marrying a chick. That's my sole intention, actually. I just want to make sure that you can't get on your knees and lift your arms to your lord, for fear that your fingers might accidentally go up some gay dude's ass, because he was allowed into church, too, when the government decided he might actually be considered a human being.

Because, let's face it. No president should be able to tell you what morals to have unless he has spent years drowning in a bottle and a pile of that white stuff.

And now it's two years into the term of his successor, and all of Bush's supporters, some of whom now belong to this Tea Party movement, clamor that they "want their country back." Because it was so awesome when the country was in such dire financial straits that Bush determined that he needed that "bailout" that for whatever reason everyone blames on Obama. And anyway, Obama is a Muslim, and we all know that George W. Bush is a god-fearin' Christian.

So. I don't love George W. Bush. And I wrote all of the above before I even began watching this episode, because I'm so disgusted with the idea of Oprah giggling and yukking it up with the former president, like his drawl makes him the most charming fucker on the face of the earth. I'm not falling for it. I'm not going to laugh. He's not adorable. He's calculating, and though he lacks intelligence on a pretty basic level, he is smart enough to know that he did a whole hell of a lot wrong while in office. But he'll never admit that. No, he'll just whine that Kanye calling him racist was the most "painful" part of his presidency.

Accuse of me of going into this episode biased if you want. It's absolutely true. But before you leap to the conclusion that I only have these opinions because I'm a bleeding heart liberal, consider the facts. The 2000 election was the first presidential election for which I was a legal voter. I was in college, but I hadn't really considered my political opinions. I knew I was pro-choice and was in favor of gay marriage, but I also knew that I didn't go around identifying as a Democrat. I did not have an interest in politics, really, and certainly not any big cause. I would say even the pro-choice and pro-gay marriage thing were just sort of vaguely defined beliefs.

Do you know what made me a liberal? The nomination, then election, then presidency of George W. Bush. With his election, suddenly I saw everything I opposed embodied in one man. He defined for me exactly what my own beliefs were, simply by opening his mouth and saying what he believed. I couldn't believe this buffoon was put into office, and I couldn't believe that, for years, at least half the American people didn't have a single problem with the guy. And many still don't.

Apparently, Oprah falls into that category. And so does most of the studio audience for today's show. There was so much giggling and applause that you might have forgiven someone for believing that Oprah was interviewing the cast of Glee or something. Bush was treated like such a likable character, as though being out of office automatically removed him from blame for anything that happened while he was in office. In my notes, I wrote down (at various points in the episode) "this is gross" and "I'm disgusted" and "I cannot take this." There absolutely could not have been a bigger disparity between my opinion and that of both Oprah and her audience.

Oprah was "honored" and "really, really, really proud" to have Bush there for an interview. She grabbed his hand more than once. She let it go when Bush said things like, "I didn't pay much attention [to the criticism]." I remember Bush saying that a lot while in office, claiming that he didn't care what the polls said. What he seemed to forget was that the polls were the actual American people expressing their opinion about their employee, the president of the United States. So you better damn well care what the polls say.

There were a million quotes in there that I wrote down. On his (lack of) response after being notified about 9/11, Bush said, "...the leader must project calm." Okay, then calmly walk out of the room and get to work. Don't sit there for seven minutes like a deer in the headlights. On the criticism he didn't pay attention to, he said, "I knew what I was doing. I felt strongly about some of the decisions I was making." He's certain that history will show him to be correct. That's not going to happen, Dubya.

On the war in Iraq, he said, "I knew the consequences my order would bring." It never really seemed you did, actually. Also, "Everybody thought Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction." Geez, I wonder why "everyone" thought that. Could it be that your state department generated the report, and that was what "everyone" read? Criticize John Kerry all you want for "flip-flopping," but try to remember that when he was "for it before he was against it," that was because the only information was fed to him by the guy who desperately wanted to go to war.

Oprah asked him about whether the 4000+ deaths in the wars weigh heavily on his mind. He said they do. "I know the decision I made disrupted somebody's life in a big way." Uh, yes. By ending it.

When talking about Katrina and his flyover of New Orleans, Bush said that it looked like a "nucular" bomb went off down there. You know, since the dude comes from a party that largely insists that everyone in this country speak English, you'd think he'd take time to learn the language himself.

He said he didn't want to land in or around New Orleans because he didn't want to "take away resources" from the rescue effort. Whatever that means. Sounds like a load of crap. Then he said that the accusation that he is a racist just "speaks to the ugliness of the American political scene." Good god, is there any chance he has any idea who made that political scene so damn ugly?

He rejects the idea that anything he did with regard to Katrina could be perceived as racist. Okay, we get it, guys. Dude isn't racist. He's homophobic. So he's still a bigot, but let's not label the man something he's not.

There was a taped piece with Bush 41, Bush 43 and Barbara Bush, all together for, I guess, the first time ever in an interview. It took place at their summer home, and I believe that nothing screams "entitlement" like the words "summer home." Bush 41 wore a pink shirt, yellow pants, white socks, and brown loafers. Sexy. Oprah pointed out that there are seventeen grandchildren, which means "...there's a possibility of a third President Bush in the future."

No comment.

Bush doesn't believe a former president should criticize the sitting president. I completely disagree. I think anyone and everyone should criticize the president if he/she sees fit. The current president works for all citizens, including the former president. Seriously. Let's all try to remember this: the president works for us.

Toward the end of the episode, I remembered something I had once written on my other blog, about Ellen interviewing Jenna Bush on her show. I couldn't remember all of what I wrote, so I was surprised when I went back to find the link. My point was that George W. Bush was fundamentally against Ellen as a person, and believed that she was not an equal citizen. But she was pleased as punch when Jenna called her daddy up live on air and spoke with him. And I was disgusted. You're welcome to read the whole post, of course, but here's the part that stood out to me this evening:

Think of it is this way. There's another popular talk show host out there who also happens to be a minority. Perhaps you've heard of her? Her name is Oprah Winfrey. Now, let's say Oprah decided to have one of David Duke's daughters on the show (hey, it makes about as much sense as Jenna Bush being on a talk show). Could you see Oprah getting really excited and giddy when Erika or Kristin (the daughters) said that they could just call up daddy on his cell phone right there? Would there be giggles in the audience when David Duke told the daughter how happy he was to speak to her? I think not.

Look at me, having Oprah on my mind all the way back in December 2007. Back then, I thought she would be above doing a show like this. And after 2008, I would have been sure of it. After all, this is the woman who practically got Barack Obama elected president. She campaigned for hope and change. And now because Bush is selling a book and it's a big deal, she catered to him and brought him on the show? And then she asked a few "tough" questions without any real follow-ups, and laughed and laughed with him while he flashed that shit-eating grin? What exactly did she think she was campaigning to hope and change with that 2008 election?

I would assume that 25 years on the air means you get to have final say over your guests, right, Opes? So you must have really enjoyed all that hand-holding and giggling with the former president. Good for you.